TRANSCRIPT Episode 31: Stillness – peace in busyness

Leah Sax:
Hello and welcome to episode 31 of Delight Podcast. I’m Leah Sax.

Adam Curtis:
And I am Adam Curtis and this is so exciting that we are back for yet another season of Delight Podcast.

Leah Sax:
Season 7. And you literally made me promise that we wouldn’t say the phrase so excited. And then you opened with it. Because we said it for every season so far.

Adam Curtis:
No, no, the phrase we weren’t allowed to say was, I cannot believe that we’re starting a new season.

Leah Sax:
Okay, so we’re allowed to be genuinely excited, which we are. Season seven. I’ve got a facts question for you. How many minutes do you think we have put out there of Delight Podcast or can you can do it in hours, minutes or hours? Go and have a guess.

Adam Curtis:
Oaah, that is a great question. Okay, so this is our 31st episode. So we’ve got 30 already out there and well they’re around like for only 30 to 40 minutes each. I am gonna say we’re around 21 hours.

Leah Sax:
Oh not bad. We’re at Were 19.46 hours, which is 1168 minutes.

Adam Curtis:
Impressive. That was.

Leah Sax:
Impressive. Sorry. Sorry. I suppose to give you, like, adulation and praise.

Adam Curtis:
Always.

Leah Sax:
Wow. Adam, your maths is so impressive. I’m glad that the podcast is Bible focussed. Otherwise, I’d feel guilty that our listeners had spent that many hours in our presence.

Adam Curtis:
Yeah. That’s true. Thankfully, we get to spend that time studying God’s Word together. Boom!

Leah Sax:
Did you have a fact for me, Adam, or not really?

Adam Curtis:
Yeah, I do have a fact for you. I sadly think you might be able to guess it. How many posts at this moment of recording have we done on Instagram?

Leah Sax:
Oh, I’ve got no clue. Uh, 201.

Adam Curtis:
Oh 241.

Leah Sax:
Oh, I, I I’m quite pleased with that.

Adam Curtis:
Given that given that you do most of them, you should be pleased with them.

Leah Sax:
I’m not gonna lie. I could probably tell you our follower count more than our post count.

Adam Curtis:
Okay, I’ve written that down as well. Come on our Instagram follower account.

Leah Sax:
I’m going to guess it’s 1163.

Adam Curtis:
I think sadly, 30 odd people have dropped or stop following its 1134.

Leah Sax:
Right by the time of recording. We have to up this somehow, miraculously, today, our guests on the topic of stillness is Lucy Rycroft. She’s the first time we have a repeat guest on the episode.

Adam Curtis:
Come on.

Leah Sax:
You can check her out on episode 15. On parenting. Lucy is an author, the founder of The Hopeful Family, a teacher, and a busy mum.

Adam Curtis:
Hello and welcome to the podcast, Lucy.

Lucy Rycroft:
Hello.

Adam Curtis:
Oh, it is so good to have you back on the Delight Podcast, Lucy. And to kick us all off, I’ve got a question for you. How has life changed since you were last on the podcast?

Lucy Rycroft:
Hello, Adam. Hello. Hello everyone listening? It’s great to be back. I’m so happy to be back. I love this podcast. Um, how has life changed? Yes, quite a bit in the last couple of years. So last time I came on, I was filling in for various people at parenting for Faith, so I had a couple of maternity covers there, which were absolutely wonderful. They came to an end at the end of 2024, and I then kind of overlapped jobs a little bit because God called me back into teaching, which was my first career music teaching in the secondary school. And so, quite unexpectedly, after a 15 year gap, I ended up back in the classroom. And so that was a fun couple of months overlapping those two jobs. And these days I finished with parenting for Faith. I am doing two days teaching a week, and the rest of the time I am working on The Hope Filled family, which is my online ministry to Christian parents, carers, grandparents, kids, youth leaders, anyone really who has an interest in the spiritual life of the next generation.

Adam Curtis:
What I love here Lucy. We could almost do a podcast on you on busyness, but instead we’re doing one on stillness.

Lucy Rycroft:
They are related.

Adam Curtis:
Yeah. In that time you’ve also written a new book, Be Still, and we’d love to talk a little bit more about that. So Be still: 30 devotions for Those who feel anything but what led you to write this book?

Lucy Rycroft:
It was at the end of 2023, which was between my two maternity covers at parenting for Faith BRF. Um, so I had kind of seven weeks off between one cover ending and another beginning, and I was really looking forward to these seven weeks because they fell over sort of November, December time. I thought, this is great. I have loads of time to like, you know, prepare Christmas and just chill out a bit before my next job starts. Like, what a gift. Like loads of people don’t ever have this kind of opportunity. So this is really good. And yet I found myself just as busy really in those seven weeks. And I can’t even really say why. But I think there’s a sense in which when, you know, some free time is coming, you sort of save all your bits that you have to do until that free time. So I was meeting up with everybody that I’d kind of ignored for the last couple of months. And I was, you know, trying to get all the stuff done that I kind of hadn’t had time to do that year, and it ended up being really busy. And I just got to this realisation of, gosh, my life is just busy, with no obvious way of slowing down. Sometimes in life you get the sense of, okay, I’m doing too much.

Lucy Rycroft:
I’ve taken on one too many things I need to just say to that person. Actually, I can’t be on that committee or I can’t, you know, help out with this event or whatever it is, can’t be on that meals rota because I’m just doing too much and I’ve had times like that in my life, but at the end of 2023 was different. It was like kind of looking at my life and thinking, well, hang on, I’ve got kids who I can’t easily knock off. Um, I’ve got a job that I can’t not do, you know, and my life is just busy just with those things. And I had in the back of my head this phrase be still. That obviously kind of pops up at various points in Scripture. And I kind of went on a journey. I decided that 2024, like be still, were going to be my words if you like to kind of focus on. And I really wanted to sort of ask God, like, how can I be still when my life doesn’t feel very still? That was the kind of question. And so it didn’t start off as a book. It started off as my own personal journey of like, come on, something’s just got to change here because my life isn’t very still.

Lucy Rycroft:
It doesn’t look like it’s going to become any stiller over the next few years. But Lord, you must be in this somehow. You’re God of every season and every culture. So. So where are you in this? So it started off as a personal journey. And then I was a couple of months into that journey into 2024 because I was working at BRF. I had a meeting with the head of content creation about something totally different. And just at the end of it, kind of out of the blue, she said, oh, you know, I just wanted to let you know, we know you’re an author and it would be lovely to make use of you while you’re here. So if you ever had any suggestion or idea for a book, then do let us know, because we’d be really interested to kind of read a proposal from you. I didn’t have any ideas at that stage, like I was working full time and raising my kids. I wasn’t planning to write a book that seemed like a huge amount of work. But yeah, just within a few days, it became really clear that actually, maybe this journey that God was leading me on, maybe simultaneously could be something that I sort of documented and journaled for other people as well.

Adam Curtis:
Oh, I love that. I love that it started with you deciding you’re going to meditate on this sense of being still. And it was a personal journey. And from this personal journey has come a book which will hopefully bless many other people. That is just so beautiful. What has the Lord been teaching you as you’ve been writing this.

Lucy Rycroft:
I started off by kind of going through all the passages in the Bible that use that phrase, be still, and kind of making notes and praying them through and reading them through and thinking like, What’s God doing in this passage? What’s God saying? And getting a better idea of what stillness means, which I know we’re going to go into in a bit more depth in a few minutes. So yeah, ultimately he’s been teaching me to be still. Part of that, I think, is not to resent my busyness, because sometimes, you know, we get so run down and we just kind of suddenly I was in the mindset of, gosh, my life is so busy all the time, and I never have any time for myself, or I never have any time to do this, or I’d love to do that, and I can’t do it or look at that person. They seem to have a better life. It was starting to build into resentment and bitterness and envy. And I think one of the major things God’s been teaching me over the last couple of years, because it’s still an ongoing journey. I mean, the book might be out, but that doesn’t mean I’ve come to the end of my journey with this. It’s a it’s a lifelong journey. I think one of the main things God is teaching me is not to resent my busyness like it’s not a mistake. God has put me in this season, in this time, with these people around me, and he’s led me to the things I’m doing. And actually, that’s something beautiful and okay. Sometimes I will feel tired, sometimes I will feel run down, but actually less of the woe is me and more of the kind of actually this this is where God has put me, and I know he can restore me. And if I’m run down, I know, I know, I probably just need to get to bed earlier, you know? But God is in that. That’s been a great kind of source of strength, I think, and encouragement to me.

Adam Curtis:
That is just so helpful, just actually to change our perspective, the power of changing our perspective to see, okay, there’s good things in my life and actually let’s do them rather than just resent the busyness.

Lucy Rycroft:
And in some ways, the stillness mindset is just that. It’s a change perspective. It’s like nothing in my life has really changed. Well, apart from changing jobs and all that kind of stuff. I just told you a few minutes ago, in the last couple of years, you know, I’m still essentially the same kind of person. I’m living in the same place. I’ve got the same number of children. I’ve got the same number of dogs. Well, one, but it feels like about five sometimes. And I’ve got the same job. No different jobs, but I’m still working, you know, so I still have work in my life and I’m still involved in my church, all that kind of thing. So that’s not really changed over the last two years. But my mindset around those things has changed. I think that’s one of the key things to get our heads around when we are seeking stillness.

Leah Sax:
If you’re enjoying Delight Podcast, why not consider writing or reviewing us on your listening app of choice? It really does make a massive difference. And if you’re particularly enjoying today’s episode, why not share it on socials? You can also find us at Delight Podcast on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok. Thank you for being a part of the Delight Podcast family.

Leah Sax:
On average, people receive 146 phone notifications a day. That’s one every ten minutes, even when you’re sleeping. And for teenagers, the number is even higher. They get one every six minutes. Life is busy and on top of our phones. We have work, family, friends, sports, music, TV, church. Our lives are full and it can feel incessant. And the very idea of doing a podcast on stillness feels like a utopian and unreachable dream. Surely this concept is old fashioned and not one for the reality of today. Maybe in biblical times, when phones didn’t exist and life was slower, someone could still find stillness in life. But isn’t it now an outdated principle that doesn’t fit into the reality of our busy lives? Isn’t the idea of stillness just outdated?

Lucy Rycroft:
So I love your description there, Leah. I think you’ve just described like every one of our lives, and I don’t know a single person who can’t relate to that. But I also don’t know a single person who would hold their hand up and say, I like life being like this. Or I think life is better when it’s like this. Without exception, every person I ever speak to about life, busyness, phones, screens, whatever it is along those lines. We’ll say the same thing that things are too busy. They feel slightly out of control. It feels like you’re running from one thing to the next. It’s very difficult not to be addicted to our phones because so much stuff happens on them these days. We kind of use them as our control centres for running our lives. So it’s very difficult not to be glued to our phones, but we don’t want to be at the mercy of our phones. I think there’s just an understanding amongst people that yes, life is like this, but it’s not ideal and it’s not good for us and we want a way out. And the thing is that only God ultimately offers a way out. The world is very good at offering practical suggestions for how we break up with our phones, or reduce our screen time, or break our phone addiction, whatever it is.

Lucy Rycroft:
But it can’t offer ultimate peace. And we know that because even before phones came along, people didn’t have peace without God. Like it’s never been possible to have peace, ultimate peace, ultimate security without God. I listened to a great podcast the other day. It was great company by Jamie Laing. A secular podcast. And he had on TJ power, who’s a neuroscientist, up and coming trendy neuroscientist. And it was really interesting. It was such a good podcast and I related to so much of it. He said some really good things about our phone. He gave the science behind what our brains are doing and how our phones are shrinking, our brains and all this kind of thing. And it was just brilliant. And there were some really practical suggestions. It was great. But the podcast felt lacking, you know, it almost felt like he was telling us the gospel without Jesus because I was like, yes, yes, yes, everything he was saying, I was like, yes, you’re right. We were made for connection. We were made for relationship. And I just wanted to like Add; and that’s with Jesus, you know, because everything he was saying backed up the gospel, backed up scripture. You know, how our brains have been designed, every every single thing you know about love and security and this need to kind of feel safe and secure and loved.

Lucy Rycroft:
And I was like, yeah, that’s totally how God has created us. But obviously they’re not Christians, so they’re not going to come to that conclusion. But it’s just an example of how like I was really apart from the fact there was no Jesus. I was really blessed by that podcast because there were a lot of really good practical tips. But ultimately, I know that even breaking up with my phone, even battling and overcoming my phone addiction isn’t going to offer me ultimate peace. So that is what being still offers. So this is a long way round. Sorry, but going back to your question, it’s not outdated because we know that something’s wrong. We know that we don’t have that peace from our phones. We know that they make us more anxious, more stressed, whatever we want. A way out and kerbing our screen time is only part of the picture, because it can’t offer us that ultimate peace. When we learn to be still, we’re essentially learning to trust God. We’re essentially reminding ourselves that we cannot do it all, be it all, juggle it all, and we need to let God do the things that we cannot do. And that leads to peace, because it’s no longer all on us.

Leah Sax:
So you’ve gone into a beautiful picture of what it means to be still, which is to find that peace in God, to trust God with your time and your life and all these wonderful things. Where do we find examples of stillness in Scripture? In the Bible?

Lucy Rycroft:
Yeah. I mean, so many. And sometimes it’s called stillness and sometimes it’s called other things. There’s a whole load of 30 examples in the book, but I’m just going to point out three very briefly if that’s okay. There’s a lovely Psalm, Psalm 127. There’s this beautiful verse, verse 2, which says in vain you rise early and stay up late toiling for food to eat, for he grants sleep to those he loves. And this is really my verse. I mean, if any verse in the Bible sums me up, this is it. Because I’m, as I’ve said before, a night owl. I just find it very difficult to go to sleep at a sensible time. There’s always something that needs doing. This first just reminds us that actually being still is about being able to get to the end of the day and think, right, God, I’ve done what you asked me to do today. I’ve lived out the life that you’ve asked me to live. I haven’t got everything done. There’s stuff left for tomorrow. That’s fine. But I can still rest in your presence and your peace. Knowing that tomorrow is another day. And I need this sleep. Staying up late to do all the jobs is not going to clear them totally. There’s always going to be more work tomorrow. That whole kind of idea is really about being able to be still, even when there’s stuff that remains undone, because some of us feel like we need to tick off all the jobs on our to do list before we can be still.

Lucy Rycroft:
And actually, God’s saying, no, I can provide for you. I will provide for you. I am providing for you. You don’t need to just keep going incessantly. Another example is Exodus 14. This is the incredible passage just before the Israelites get to the Red sea while they’re approaching the Red sea. And they’re like, you know, I mean, I don’t even know how to describe how they would be feeling at this point. It’s just like, how would you be feeling? And apparently I’ve read recently there could have been like a million of them, like it was loads and loads because it was all the Israelites and also some Egyptians as well. Kind of turned to God and left with the Israelites, which I found really interesting. I found that out recently. So there was a lot of people there all ages. You know, this intergenerational walk, if you’ve ever been on a walk with small children, you’ll know how hard it is to chivvy them along, even when you’re going like two miles along the flat, you know? But here they are in front of a huge body of water. So imagine trying to chivvy the young children in your party in this kind of scenario. Moses says this amazing thing to the people. He says, do not be afraid because the Egyptians, sorry, I should have mentioned the Egyptians at this stage have changed his mind. He sent the Egyptian army to come chasing them. So it’s not just that they’ve come to this massive body of water with no boats or obvious way of getting across.

Lucy Rycroft:
But the Egyptians are behind them. They can’t go round. They’ve got to just keep going. And Moses says to the Israelites, do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today, you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still. I love this example of being still because we often think of stillness as a physical thing. But obviously what God was not saying to them was stand still, just stand still. Between the water and the Egyptians, and you’ll be fine. God could have made the Egyptians disappear in a cloud of smoke, but God’s not a magician. He’s not going to just, you know, I mean, he could, but he tends to work through his people and with his people and in partnership with his people. So he’s not saying to the Israelites do nothing. He’s saying, be still. Let me do what you can’t. You do what you can, and I will do what you can’t. And what they can do is they can walk. They can use the legs that God has given them to walk forward, and they can use the arms God has given them to carry their babies, and they can use the voice as God’s given them to chivvy along their little people who are struggling with the journey or even each other, you know, to chivvy along those in the party who might be a bit more anxious, a bit more scared, as we would do, you know, in that situation, that’s what humans do.

Lucy Rycroft:
So God is saying, you do what you can do and I will do what you can’t, which is separate the sea . And so that is a partnership of God and humans, and we see it so many times in Scripture. God works in partnership with humans. So I love that example because it’s just a reminder. Actually, God’s not asking us to just like, go off to the hills and spend our lives as a hermit, sort of doing nothing, seeing nobody, being involved in nothing. Stillness does not always look like physical stillness. Obviously, holidays are important. Rest is important. Being still physically still is important, but it’s not a reality for our 24 over seven existence, right? We need to do things and we can be still within that. And then a third example is from Psalm 46. This is possibly the most well known occurrence of the phrase be still. Psalm 46 ends with these words. He says, be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth. That’s how the Psalm ends. Be still and know that I’m God. But how the Psalm begins is a world full of chaos. God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Again, a really well-known verse for many of us. But then there are amazing descriptions. Though the earth give way, the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. Can you imagine mountains falling into the sea.

Lucy Rycroft:
The waters roaring and foaming. The mountains quaking. Nations in uproar. Kingdoms fall. This is a psalm describing a chaotic world. And if we can’t relate to that today, then when can we relate to that? Because our world as we see it today is in chaos. There’s war, there’s famine, there’s suffering, there’s disasters. Everywhere you turn, there’s threats of security, there’s political division. There is so much, and I can totally understand someone who is struggling to find stillness and peace when they look at what’s happening in the world around us. And yet the Psalm ends. Be still and know that I’m God. Even in this chaotic world. Because actually there is no power bigger than God. There is nothing to fear when we know God, because literally, God is the bottom line for everything. It all comes down to God. We fall onto God. Look at job. Everything was taken away from him, but he fell onto God. God was his rock and his like base level. If you like in his life, There’s literally nothing in life that we need to fear if we have God as our peace. I’m not saying we won’t be worried. We won’t be scared. We won’t be anxious, we won’t be nervous. But ultimately, God is in control. And that is what gives us a feeling of stillness and a sense, okay, this is fine. I can be still, even though the world is not still because I know how it ends. I know who has the final word here and it’s God.

Leah Sax:
Oh Lucy, thank you so much for opening up my eyes onto what stillness means. Whether it’s the stillness of God in the chaos of life, if it’s people leaving the land, if it’s the end of a tired, long day. Thank you for just showing us those scriptures. We see these big biblical examples. Would you be able to give us some personal examples of how you’re able to find stillness in your day?

Lucy Rycroft:
Yeah, I’ll give you an example from a few months ago. Not because I haven’t felt stillness since then, but just because I was I was very aware of it, very intentional. And I think it kind of maybe highlights some of the things that I’ve learned about stillness, which might be helpful. It was a Saturday afternoon and my kids are 11 to 16. They are very much in the stage where they’re all going off in different directions, doing different things, different social lives, different activities. Even a quiet Saturday in our diary is still pretty busy because we have different children to drop off at different times for different activities. It was in the middle of one of these kind of Saturdays. I was carrying laundry out into the garden to hang it up, and I was carrying the laundry outside and I just felt resentment build up, you know? I was like, this is my Saturday. And literally all I’m doing is driving kids around and coming back. And then it’s like half an hour till I have to drive another kid somewhere. So there’s not really any time to to do anything of kind of note or even like sit down with a book or whatever. Got meals to make, you know, I’m just doing the laundry. It’s not a nice idea of what I would like to be doing with my Saturday, but as I started to hang the washing up, I was just like, well, you know, let’s practice. Practice what you preach. I just became really aware of how can I be still in this moment? And I just started thanking God for everything.

Lucy Rycroft:
And once I started, I couldn’t stop. Gratitude just poured out of my heart like, thank you God for this lovely sunny day. Thank you that I can hang these clothes up. Thank you for the clothes. Thank you that we can afford to clothe ourselves and our kids. Thank you that we can afford to feed them. Thank you that they’ve got so many lovely activities going on in their lives that they enjoy. Thank you that they’ve got friends that they want to see. Thank you for giving us our kids, you know, like, thank you for giving us a garden. You know, it just kind of went on and on and on. Like, thank you that I have my health and I’m able to stand outside pegging out the washing, all these things that we take for granted. And in that moment, I really feel that God met me in a way that quite often, I don’t necessarily experience in my traditional quiet time. God is within our quiet times and outside them. He’s within everything that we do. I appreciated that because that was God saying, I know you can’t sit down and rest very much today, but that’s no barrier to me giving you stillness. And in that moment, hanging up the washing, when I wasn’t physically still, I became spiritually still, and I had a moment of stillness which acted as a kind of energy boost, for want of a better phrase, a kind of refresher that re-energized me, that rejuvenated me, that moment with God in the garden.

Leah Sax:
That’s exactly that peace that surpasses all understanding, isn’t it? That’s exactly it. Adam, do you have any examples for us? I just thought, you know, open up the the questioning of, like, examples of stillness. Vicar.

Adam Curtis:
As Lucy was speaking there, an example was bubbling away in my mind of cycling down to church for work each morning during the week on my cycle ride, I have started just giving thanks to God and letting the things of that moment just fuel it. And so there’s some really obvious ones which I say every day. So the fact that I’ve got a bike and that I can cycle and I love doing it, and I can feel the air going over my face and in my lungs, and I just feel so alive. And I cycle past these beautiful trees, and I thank the Lord for them. But then as I’m doing it, I’ve also started to see things around me, which is encouraging me to thank him for particular things. The fact that with psychopaths is very large house, and it reminds me that I have room in God’s home in the new creation splendour. As I’m cycling past those beautiful trees, it’s reminding me of the trees in Psalm 1, which produced fruit in and out of season. And those are the trees which have been by water, and that water is linking into a sense of meditating on God’s Word. And actually, as I’m seeing all these things and thanking God for all these things and thanking God for other things which are going on in life with people or work, that actually does change my my morning sort of attitude. It is giving me that new thinking and I am being very active. I’m literally cycling and sometimes avoiding the cars, but.

Leah Sax:
I hope Always avoiding the cars. Yeah.

Adam Curtis:
Thank you Leah. But within that, I think I’m getting stillness because I’m growing in thankfulness, and thus I’m growing in trust. And as I’m growing in trust, I’m able each day to keep on living with the Lord and going his way.

Leah Sax:
It’s wonderful. There’s little moments where you’re kind of reconnecting, going, you are the God who provides. We are thankful we put our trust in you. It’s been actually quite helpful knowing that we were recording this podcast, because I’ve been thinking about stillness for the past week, and I kid you not, when I tell you, dear listener, that we are recording this podcast in the busiest two weeks of my year and it was really helpful. I was on stage like two nights ago, and I was I was not playing for half a song or something, and I was like, right, how do I take a moment to give this over to the Lord? And I started praying mid-set. I was like, Lord, this is for your glory. Would you use that? Thank you for this moment. And it reshapes your heart, doesn’t it? And even as I was about to, I was leading worship at church yesterday and I was praying with the band. And it was. And it can become quite routine. We do the pray, we do this. And I actually prayed mid prayer, Lord, would we be still just to re-engage my heart spiritually just so that I don’t become numb by the routines and go right, this is for your glory. Would this be for your glory that changes how our heart is for the next day, hour, minute, second, whatever that is. Do you find this quest for stillness? How has it impacted your relationship with God? Lucy?

Lucy Rycroft:
I mean, it’s been transformative, and I think we see that in the examples you guys have given just now, which I love, because the more and more we are able to turn to God in those moments, the more we feel that stillness and we sense that stillness. I think that’s great. I think those those examples you gave were lovely. It’s difficult to pinpoint, really, because it’s just transformed my whole relationship with God. But I guess a couple of specific things. One is that I feel less guilty for being busy. I think there is a bit of a thread or can be in some Christian circles along the lines of like true Christians lead these aethereal quiet, still lives that are not polluted by other people or other things. Almost like it’s the ideal to sort of escape to the mountaintop and just pray and be with God. And actually, that’s really not reality for the majority of us, and we can end up feeling quite guilty that we’re busy. I remember a church I was in years ago when I had I can’t remember whether I had one child or two children at the time, but either way, they were very little. And instead of giving stuff up for lent, this church decided that as a church, we were going to slow down for lent. I think that meant less church meetings, more maybe corporate prayer opportunities, I can’t remember, but part of the reason I can’t remember is because I felt totally excluded from that.

Lucy Rycroft:
Because I was a mum of a small child, or possibly two. I can’t even remember that, and I don’t remember feeling any negativity about it at all. Like, I could sense this was a really good thing for the church to be doing really great for us all to be doing, but it’s obviously not for me because I spend 12 hours of each day running after my toddler, making sure they don’t kill themselves and then in between times, feeding them. It just felt like something that was lovely for other people but wasn’t going to work for me. There were no practical suggestions given as to how we might slow down as a church, so immediately I felt excluded, and I think probably a lot of people in the church would have felt excluded because as I’ve looked into stillness more and more and thought and prayed about it, I’ve realised that actually The lots of us feel busy. It’s not just young parents who feel busy. You know, the retired people I know are very busy looking after often grandchildren and elderly relatives themselves, sometimes doing a little bit of paid work, often doing a huge amount of church volunteering because these are the absolute saints who keep things running in our churches. There is so much sort of required these days of the generation in their 60s and 70s, you know, single people with busy jobs, busy careers, you guys are both examples of people who live very full, very busy lives, full of people, full of things, full of work, full of lots of very, very fruitful things.

Lucy Rycroft:
It’s very difficult to just say, okay, we’re going to have two months where we just slow down. How do we do that? It’s no disrespect to that church, but just one way in which I have felt excluded before as a Christian who is busy. So that’s one thing I think feeling less guilt, realising actually God has called me to this life which results in busyness. That’s not to say that it’s not a good idea sometimes to slow down, and sometimes I need to just sort of hold my hand up and say, actually, I’ve made myself too busy here. I’ve taken on stuff I shouldn’t have taken on. Absolutely. That’s really, really important. But even when all that stuff is out of your schedule, when you’re still feeling busy, that’s the point where you go, do you know what? This is the life God has given me and I’m grateful for it. And then my second thing that that I think has been really transformative for me is I’ve learned to be very specific and very precise in what I ask God about my workload.

Leah Sax:
Tell me more.

Lucy Rycroft:
Yes. I mean, we know this, don’t we? We know that we can go to God with everything, but do we? I don’t know if I was always going to God with every single thing. I was trying to sort of work out on my own terms. And more and more these days, I find myself starting a day feeling maybe a little bit tense about various aspects, and I just pray through them all. Really specific. Lord, would you help me to get this piece of work done in this length of time? Because I don’t think I’ve got any more time to give to it. Please, could you resolve this situation? I’m going to have to make a tricky phone call today. For example, please. Could that be the end of that please? Could that resolve that situation, that tie up so I don’t have to keep making phone calls back to the bank or the post office or whoever it is that I have to sort this annoying thing out with, please, pleased with this refund. Go through whatever it is that’s on our mind for today. Like there’s nothing too small that we can’t ask God to do.

Lucy Rycroft:
And I really believe God stretches time. God brings people to help us. You know, sometimes if you have that feeling where you’ve been stressed about something and you’ve gone to do it and actually somebody has already done it, that’s a lovely feeling, isn’t it? Of like, okay, this has already been sorted out. This thing that I thought I was going to have to give half an hour to today. Actually, it’s all been resolved and I don’t need to do that anymore. That’s such a gift, isn’t it? We can pray for those things. God is supernatural. God works supernaturally when we give them our time and our work as well. So I’ve learned to be super specific, super precise, super accurate. There’s a post on my Instagram feed actually, which gives five prayers I pray when I’m busy. I wouldn’t necessarily pray all of them, but they’re examples of prayers that I pray. You know. I might pray 1 or 2 of them, depending on the situation, like prayers. You can pray in the midst of extreme busyness, and that has been revolutionary for me.

Leah Sax:
I love that God is a God of the details. He cares about the details. God is a God of order and he wants us to lift everything up to him with prayer In thanksgiving. Supplication requests be known to God and he cares about this. And it’s amazing because I remember it wasn’t until I was in my 20s that it occurred to me that I could be praying about my work. I was like, oh yeah, God cares about that. My mother, in her gentleness and caring ness, also prays that I would have the wisdom to turn down work, which I absolutely love. And it’s wonderful because we’re talking this through and busyness; it can have a very negative association. It’s a part of life. And we’re not saying being busy in and of itself is a bad thing. That concept has flowed through our conversation today. Why do you think that busyness can be a good thing?

Lucy Rycroft:
Yeah, interesting. So I think first off, I don’t think that any of us should be aiming to be busy people. Like, I don’t think it should be our aim or our goal. I think our aim should be to glorify God in what we do, and to seek his will for our lives and glorify him when we’re doing it. However, busyness is, for many of us, a product, a by product of the life that God has given us to lead. I also think that God has made us all different. And with that comes different capacities. And some people just have a higher capacity. It’s not any credit to them. It doesn’t mean they’re a better person or more or less spiritual person. It’s just who they are. God gives some people enormous capacities to do all sorts of things. I was chatting to a friend a couple of months ago. Incredible couple who have adopted and fostered goodness knows how many children: they live in a huge like literally a stately home. I mean, God has really blessed them financially and they opened their home to whole families of refugees and vulnerable children and vulnerable families. And they do so much with what God has given them. But this guy is also still working full time. He’s a dad, a granddad caring for these children along with his wife and managing this, this property. Obviously they do have some help. And I just said to him, like, how do you do everything? You know, he runs this, this company as his own very successful company. So he is a busy person, right? And he just turns to me and he said, I think it’s amazing how you get the energy for the things that God wants you to do. And I was like, That’s it, isn’t it?

Leah Sax:
I know! I had this amazing conversation with a dear brother for his work, and we were just comparing frankly, which is probably not a helpful thing to do different capacities. And we were describing this one person we know, they feel like they’ve got a huge capacity, like the platter that they have is massive. And then we were talking about my brother’s capacity in the Lord. We’re not actually blood related. And he thought that he had a much smaller platter. I was like, but brother, your platter is not a platter. It’s a bowl. Like he has a depth of capacity. So whilst the sphere, the number of things might be smaller, the wisdom and the knowledge and the understanding and the care that he gives to that “smaller range of things” is much deeper. And it was just really lovely to see how the Lord has given these two people very different ways of processing and dealing with life, and seeing that both of those are good gifts of the Lord.

Lucy Rycroft:
That’s such a helpful analogy, isn’t it? I think I love that the bowl and the platter, you know, we’re called to do different things at different levels of depth as well.

Leah Sax:
When do you think that busyness can be a bad thing? What do we need to watch out for? What are the kind of warning flags that we should have our hearts open for?

Lucy Rycroft:
I think it comes down to motivation. So what is our motivation for what we are taking on? And I’ve had to battle this because I’m a kind of I think you’d call me like a type A people pleaser achiever always want to do my best. And the Bible is really clear that we’re not here to please other people. We’re here to please God. And yet it’s very difficult not to and harder for some of us than others as well, because of how we were raised or our experiences in life or anything like that, that it all goes into the mix, doesn’t it? So I think it just comes down to like when we have a decision about, you know, someone’s asked us to take on an extra commitment or we’ve got an opportunity at work or whatever it is, or we’re thinking about having another child, whatever it is that we know is going to add to our schedule. Are we doing this because of how it makes us look? Are we doing this because of the money? You know, if it’s a job related thing, are we just wanting to take on this promotion because we want extra money, even though we know it’s going to be a horrendous amount of work that we don’t really have time for? Are we doing this to please other people? We really need to search our hearts, I think.

Lucy Rycroft:
And I’ve had to do this. And we’ll always have to do this. Why am I wanting to take this on? Is it just because I’m desperate to be liked? You know, there’s so many ungodly attitudes that flood our hearts. It’s difficult. It’s really hard. I think it comes down to that. Once you’re in a place where you’re convinced that everything you’re doing is something that God has ordained, that’s a place of peace. And I wouldn’t exchange anything for that money. The attitudes of others, actually, ultimately, God’s peace is more important and more valuable. And then the other thing I would say, when you’re on the cusp of deciding whether or not to do something, but for most of us, just ticking along, not with those kind of decisions to make, but just sort of ticking along, doing what we’re doing and feeling really busy. The question to ask ourselves is, is it taking us away from God? Very sadly, I’ve known people to become so focussed on their families that they draw away from Jesus. It’s really sad.

Lucy Rycroft:
It’s heartbreaking, and it is literally because they want to do everything for their children. They want to give them the best upbringing, best childhood they can. I believe that’s a godly intention that starts from a place of really loving their children like God loves their children and really wanting to do the best for their children. But then it seeps into Sunday mornings. You know, they’re going to go and do this football club or whatever it is, and church attendance drops off. Then it’s harder to stay connected to the family of God. It’s harder to have that kind of regular teaching, that regular time of corporate worship and prayer that’s so important to all of us. It just feeds us and they drift away, you know, not because they have a big argument or sort of vendetta against God, just because they’ve become too focussed on the things that aren’t God. Same can happen with our work. Our jobs can take us away from God. Our hobbies can take us away from God. And we’ve got to just consider whether what we’re doing is drawing us towards Jesus or away from Jesus. That’s the crux for me over whether busyness is is good or not.

Leah Sax:
Whether we’re going towards Jesus or whether we’re going away from Jesus. That’s a oh, that’s a beautiful mindset. That’s a beautiful truth. Now, I know your book gives us some exercises on how to be still. So we’re talking about practical things. Would you be happy to share maybe one of your favourite ones to help us be still?

Lucy Rycroft:
Yeah, so this was one that I really used to love and value when I work from home full time, because I would get to the end of a Friday and finish my work, close my laptop and go downstairs and make dinner. And it just felt like a continuation. You know, I was in the same venue. And in fact, I wouldn’t even go downstairs. I was working downstairs. I was literally working in the room next to the kitchen. So I just closed my laptop and then just head through to the kitchen. So obviously work would still be on my mind and my kids would be trying to talk to me, but I’d sort of be in two places mentally. And so what I did was I would come up to my bedroom and put my timer on for ten minutes and just lie on my bed with dim lighting. I think I put on some really gentle music in the background, no lyrics or anything, and just lay for ten minutes. I didn’t pray or anything. I mean, maybe it turned into prayer. It was just to rest. It was just to recover my body and my mind. Just to give me that break, that separation between work and home. That’s one of the stillness exercises, I can’t remember what day it’s on, but that really came out of my necessity to need to separate those two things in my in my life and just give me that little moment of stillness before I could transition into, okay, now I’m mum again. I’m wife again, I’m making dinner. I’m listening to the family’s days and all the rest of it.

Leah Sax:
Adam, as someone who’s actually read the book (!!), did you have a favourite exercise you wanted to share? We’re not going to give you all of the exercises, dear listener, because actually, maybe you could buy the book for yourself.

Adam Curtis:
Yeah, you’ve got to go out and buy it to find them out. Yeah, I wanted to share them. Day 24 on Be Still. In a world that is not. It’s an exercise which encourages self-reflection and encourages you to look back on your life, to think about a time when you allow God to renew your mind and not conform to those around you, and how it actually worked out for you. And as I was reflecting, I remember a time in life very busy. I was living in Edinburgh. I was doing a job I absolutely loved, but it was a job with university students, and when the students were there, we were like, go, go, go. And it meant in my first year there I didn’t have any friends, if I’m being honest. I was relationally exhausted from my work, but actually also really relationally very empty. And so I found that first year just really hard, really, really hard. And I had this strong desire basically to quit and just to get out. And I want to just a side point, say, I don’t think it would be sinful if I had quit at that point, but I sort of felt like, okay, I just want to quit. I want to I want an easier fun life than this, than the one I’ve got right now.

Adam Curtis:
I really felt the message of the world: choose ease and joy and fun rather than working hard. But I also felt from the Lord that he called me to Edinburgh to do this job. And actually, if I just quit, there was no one was going to take my place. Actually, I was going to have to rely on him. I was going to have to trust him and ask for his blessing and his help in that time. And it was just interesting, this exercise on day 24, just looking back at that and realising that was a time in my life where I said no, to choosing what’s easy and the way of the world and comfort and yes to choosing what was hard. And it was hard and difficult, but gave God glory and allowed me to do his work. And as I look back, I’m like, wow, I actually did some great things to the Lord there, God by His Spirit use me to build his kingdom there. And I’m so thankful that he did. And he also did meet me there as well. And by the end of my time at Edinburgh, I had a few really good deep friendships, which I’m just so grateful for.

Leah Sax:
One final question for you, Lucy. It’s in the middle of the work day. So Adam doing his 9 to 5 and obviously me 3 p.m. to 1 a.m. the to do list or the set list is intimidating and haven’t cleared emails. I’m only halfway through the first set. I’m sitting in front of a computer or on a stage. How in that moment could I choose to find stillness?

Lucy Rycroft:
Becoming aware of God’s presence with you, which for me is turning your eyes to gratitude. Gratitude that God’s there. And I think, as we’ve said before, that rolls over into gratitude for everything in that moment. As soon as you start thanking God for being with you in that moment. Other ideas will come to your mind. Okay. Thank you that I’m here on stage. Thank you that I have a job I love. Thank you that I’ve got a computer. Thank you for that meeting I had this morning, which went really well. Thank you for this. Thank you for that. We always focus on what hasn’t been done and what’s still to do, but let’s thank God for what has been done, what he has enabled us in his strength to do that day. As you start to thank God, that will turn into a conversation. And even if you can’t think of anything to thank God for, which I really doubt, you can just thank him for his presence and just ask him to draw close to you in that moment. And he will.

Leah Sax:
And when you start thanking God for what he’s done in your day, you start remembering what he did at the cross, don’t you? It brings you to that bigger picture of what he has done.

Lucy Rycroft:
There’s so much. Honestly, I think once you start thanking God, you won’t stop.

Adam Curtis:
I just love how Lucy is just so realistic in her. Like in her book. She’s realistic in person, she’s realistic, and she has this great view that actually living busy, full lives is actually a good thing. And we can achieve the good stuff that God wants us to do. And I love how in the midst of that, she’s really helped me to think through how can I grow in my my trust and dependence on the Lord entirely.

Leah Sax:
That Exodus 14 example of I will do what you can’t do. You just do the walking. And I’m like, huh? In one sense, the most basic thing like God is God, the creator of the universe. And I am just little old Leah. But I just I need to keep that that mindset and prayerfully work that through.

Leah Sax:
Lucy, thank you so much for your wisdom on stillness today. We’ve got our bonus question for season seven, and that is, can you tell us about a person God has used to shape your faith?

Lucy Rycroft:
I’d have to say my husband, which is a very cheesy answer. Sorry about that, but he is the person I’ve spent most time with over the last however many years. He is somebody who takes God very seriously and himself less so. And I really appreciate that he turns my eyes towards Jesus, often in very annoying ways. You know, like when I’d like to be a little bit less holy and he, you know, he’s just always trying to do what Jesus wants. And sometimes that’s really annoying. Can we not just do what the world wants? On this occasion. But I’m very grateful for him, for how he is relentlessly pursuing Jesus and encouraging me and our kids to do the same. He’s not perfect. He’s very humble about his foibles and his flaws, which I also appreciate. He’s taught me a lot about generosity as well, and hospitality. He’s a he’s a good egg.

Leah Sax:
Thank you so much to Lucy Rycroft for being a guest on episode 31 of Delight Podcast. We’re back baby. The show notes will give you a link to all of Lucy’s lovely resources, including where you can buy her book. Be still. Next week we have Ed Shaw talking on the topic of intimacy. This is Leah and Adam delightfully signing off. Bye bye.

Adam Curtis:
Goodbye.