Help with tricky questions

When it comes to the topic of romantic relationships everyone has questions, and we all need help and advice…

  • Should I use a dating app? Which one should I use? Salt or Tinder?
  • Should I ask her out? Will she be good for me? Will I be good for her? 
  • Should I marry him? Will he be a good husband? Will he be a kind father?

But sometimes those questions get really tricky…

  • If I’m single am I incomplete?
  • If I’m divorced, should I marry again?
  • If I’m gay, should I marry a man?

In this blog post I’m going to offer a (very brief) framework for seeking wisdom to try and help you find answers to these tricky questions.

A Framework for Seeking Wisdom

Firstly, fear the Lord. God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is the greatest being in all the cosmos. We should be in awe of him. Plus, he made us, so he actually knows what is good for us. This means we should be willing to listen to what he has to say to us. Even if we find it hard to comprehend at first; he honestly knows best.

Secondly, pray. God the Father wants to hear your prayers and has the ability to help you make good decisions in tough circumstances. Don’t run away from him when thinking things through, but lean in and depend upon him. It will be worth it!

Thirdly, delve deep into God’s Word. We do not wander this world in the dark. God has spoken and his word is a lamp onto our feet and a light onto our path. God’s Word doesn’t answer every question, but it does answer the important ones. It doesn’t tell you the exact person you should marry (sorry) but it does tell you what you should look for in your future spouse.

Fourthly, lean on the Church. God has placed us in a Church family. We are surrounded by men and women who have lived so much more life than we have. These individuals are full of wisdom that if we tapped into it, would bring great relief and comfort to our own lives. So, seek advice from your Church family.

Fifthly, ask your Church leader. Your Church leader is not just there to preach each Sunday. They also exist to offer counsel. God designed the Church to have leaders. He wants his people to be well led. So go and ask your Church leader what they think.

Sixthly, enjoy the bounty of the universal Church. The Church is hundreds of years old and has members across the four corners of the globe. I can assure you. Someone somewhere would have thought about the question you are thinking about and will have some wisdom to share. Now we must be careful with what we read online and in books (if you want a trustworthy book then shop on Is it based on the Bible or following the latest fad? But there is so much wisdom out there we would be fools not to enjoy it.

Some good books

Swipe up: A better way to do love, sex and relationships by Jason Roach

The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the complexities of marriage with the wisdom of God by Timothy Keller

Gay Girl Good God by Jackie Hill Perry

7 Myths of Singleness By Sam Allberry

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